alsodinosaur:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

lexlifts:

the-barghinator:

gracefthannah:

boys are fucking stupid

rip his fucking head off

…and then shit on his neck forreal

"I’m gay"
NO NO I BOY AND YOU GIRL AND WHEN I SAY JUMP YOU SAY HOW HIGH

Ask him if it makes him feel good to know that all the girls who said yes probably only did it because they wanted to be “polite” and not because they actually liked him.

projectunbreakable:

Submissions from projectunbreakablesubmissions@gmail.com.

frickfrackbootysmack:

angelt626:

And here is what we call a textbook defintion of puppydog eyes.

it winked are you joking

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*

itswalky:

diananock:

itswalky:

gai-jin:

huffingtonpost:

See all of the functionality of this amazing home unit here.

(Developed by MIT Media Lab)

I would feel like I was in the movie the 5th Element and I would never leave my house

shovin’ your girlfriend out of bed at like 7am so you can use the desk for your laptop

or y’know what, forget it, just seal her in there like a coffin

Rushing all your friends out after dinner so you can have a private rave.

Pretending your apartment unit is your best friend Transformer and whispering your closest held secrets to it at night.

I liked this guy’s apartment a lot better before I noticed that there was a door that closed around the toilet/shower area.  I was hopin’ that when he invited friends over you had to poop out in public like in prison.  

miss-nerdgasmz:

eversolewd:

havocados:

In the future they’re gonna sell you air and you’re gonna fuckin buy it.

The lorax is a prophecy

They do that now, it’s called “Buying a bag of chips”

miss-nerdgasmz:

eversolewd:

havocados:

In the future they’re gonna sell you air and you’re gonna fuckin buy it.

The lorax is a prophecy

They do that now, it’s called “Buying a bag of chips”